Frienemies
by realisticstoriesthatmakesense
Summary: Lights true feelings are revealed, along with slight insight into L's thoughts. Although this feeling isn't love, it's definitely something hes never felt before.
1. In Another World

It wasn't warm or cold that day. There was no breeze and the leaves never lifted from the ground, yet Light grabbed a jacket.

Lately he's been going up to the roof often, usually for short breaks as air up here was fresher than any he's breathed before and he relished in the feeling of it surrounding him, but there was no air today to sweep him off his feet into daydreams of a simpler time.

His life, his plans, L. The long awaited death of L. His daydreams never managed to remind Light of the end of the war and he didn't mind at all.

This was just another break. L had left minutes earlier, Light hadn't seen him since. Not that he minded, he supposed he's off somewhere zooming the surveillance camera into the details of his face and deciphering his very being.

It almost made him shudder thinking of L's eyes boring into him as if he's never experienced the feeling before. But for something that happens all too often you'd think he'd be used to it by now but no, L's eyes are the only eyes that make him feel truly watched.

He appreciates that though, the gut feeling he gets when L's eyes meet his is toxic in a way he's never felt before. He appreciates the fact that L is the only one who is on his level. When he did think about L's death there was joy, contempt, satisfaction, and a hint of something else.

Not sadness of course, not from Light. Light hated L with all his being. Pity, maybe. L could have been so much more. He could have even helped make this world a better place. To think, he could have been Lights right hand man but no..he's made a fool of himself. Props to him though, Light thought. He got so close many times. He underestimated L. He could admit to himself that L was truly amazing. A waste of brilliance.

Light swung open the door to the roof and stepped out. He went to take his first breath of open air before he saw a figure. L? He could recognize him a mile away with that hair, that figure..everything about him stands out. He looks out of place wherever he goes.

"Hey!" Light called to him. What was he doing up here anyways?

L turned his head and focused on Light. He gave a weak wave and turned his head back to stare into the seemingly endless gray sky. Even from here Light could see the sky's reflection pooling into L's eyes. His eyes were always so interesting to look into.

Like a glass computer that can tell you your life story and calculate your next move in a second. A shame he picked the wrong side. In another world they could have been friends. Real friends.

Light walked over to L with his hands in his pocket. He stopped beside him and looked in the direction he was. Nothing but gray. As unsettling as it was calming.

"What's so interesting Ryuzaki?" His voice sounded so fake, even to his own ears.

L shuffled awkwardly before replying surprisingly quietly. "The bells…" He looked to his bare feet.

"They've been ringing all day. Quite distracting if you ask me. Not to mention depressing." He thumbed his lip in annoyance, yet his eyes never left the ground.

What? What bells? Light cocked his head in confusion. Has L finally lost himself? He wouldn't be surprised. A man like that has only so much time before his mind drags him deeper down. Light holds back a smile.

"Ryuzaki..I don't hear any bells.." Light placed a hand on L's shoulder, this is what friends do, right?

"Maybe you should come inside."

"You don't hear them? Odd." L replied ignoring his request to come in and tensing at Light's hand. Light slowly pulled his hand away.

A few minutes passed before L decided to sit down. He moved slowly, slower than usual, and when he reached the ground he pulled his legs to his chest. He always sits like this but something about it was different this time. He seemed to cling to his legs like he's letting go of something he doesn't want to let go off. Light shrugged it off and took a seat beside him, arching himself up with his arms.

"Ryuzaki?" Light made sure his voice was slightly scared and desperate. Something is off about L today, and this is his last day alive after all, he might as well pry what he can from him. Humor himself.

"Yes?" As monotone as ever, L.

"Do you.." Light trialed. His acting was brilliant. A dash of vulnerability here, dash of fear here..

"Do you really think I'm Kira? That I am capable of doing this to people?" Light made sure to choke on his words.

There was no answer for what seemed like forever, but only seconds had passed.

"Yes. In fact, I not only think it's you, I know it's you." L's voice was low.

L had many different feelings on this. Never has a case ever shook him so badly. But, it's never been so interesting either. He didn't want Light to be Kira, but then again, he did. A shame that Light took this route, he thought.. Although when he pondered it he'd wondered if without the right guide he would have stumbled down the same path. No point in wondering about 'what ifs' though. Not anymore.

"I hate this feeling." Light's voice cut through his thoughts like a knife. "The greatest detective in the world thinks I'm Kira. Do you have any idea how much my life is changing?" Come on L, Light thought. Feel sorry for me. Crack. Do something. There's a reason you're so moody.

"Yes. I understand and I am sorry." Yet his voice lacked any sorrow at all. He truly was sorry, though, despite his monotone voice. He was sorry Light was so smart yet stupid enough to think he could pull this off. The true waste of brilliance.

He admitted to having a part in slowly tearing down Lights life, but it was Lights fault. He chose this. To be a criminal. To hurt others, judge others, as if he has the perfect judgement. Who is the real monster?

Light chuckled sadly, "We aren't even really friends are we? All you see is Kira. Not who I am or even who I used to be. I'm nothing more than another case to solve." The pain in his voice almost sounded real L thought. Its expected, he's simply a great actor and L knew this well.

"I know you better than anyone. You know me better than anyone. That's as close to friendship I have ever gotten. You truly are my first and only friend." This is the truth, this is the closest he has ever gotten. He considers Light his greatest enemy and is closest friend.

L knows him enough to know he lies just as much as he does.

Silence, it felt so long, for them, seconds are minutes. Minutes are hours. Hours are..

"Let me ask you this, Light." L spoke up, tucking his legs even closer to his chest.

"Has there ever been a time in your life where you actually told the truth?" His words were so clear you'd never realize they were glass.

Light lied so much it must have become a habit. Telling the truth is uncomfortable..he lies to manipulate, get his way. L hated how much they were alike. In another world..

"What? Of course. I mean, yes I have stretched the truth sometimes, but who hasn't? If I ever do lie, it would probably be to spare someone's feelings. I try my hardest to always tell the truth so I don't hurt anyone."

Oh Light, have you always gotta be so perfect. It's what got you here in the first place.

"I expected as much.." L trailed, biting his nails. Kira. L hated his answer.

"What about you, Ryuzaki?" Light relaxed his hands behind his neck and closed his eyes. L shouldn't be the only one asking the questions.

"I don't know."

Light chuckled. "You know everything."

"Almost everything, this is a particularly hard question." L joked and Light laughed.

More silence. More bells. Yet neither felt uncomfortable. In another world, they could have been friends.

"So," Light started. "Why are you so moody today, Ryuzaki? It's not like you. As you said, I know you better than anyone." he let the worry seep from his words. The fakeness could make L puke.

"I suppose it's because I feel as if this case is coming to an end." He bit his nails almost nervously. "Or at least, something is coming to an end."

"Isn't that a good thing?" Oh, L, Light thought. You can feel your death approaching you, can't you? You're never wrong, huh? Light held back his smirk. The excitement was almost too much.

The least he could offer was a moment of friendship, no matter how fake.

"I suppose." L shifted in his spot, and shocked Light when he decided to lay down too, outstretching his legs and putting his hands behind his neck.

"I feel as if we will be parting ways soon." L's voice was small yet mostly emotionless. He needed to work on his acting if he wanted to convince Light he cared. Or maybe he intended it for himself. Yet, still, he was right. Light almost chuckled out loud, he will never see him again, and that excited Light to the core.

"That's not true." Light shifted to turn on his side and face Ryuuzaki. Wow, he thought. He's never been so close unless they were fighting. His skin is much more flawless than it seems. His hair is less of a spiky mess, and more like soft tufts going all different directions like an exploded pillow.

Being so close to someone so amazing is a feeling even Light won't forget. He is, after all, his first and only friend. The only person he'd deemed worthy to be.

He may have hated L but even he can realize this man's capabilities. What a waste.

"I'm going to be a police officer, and maybe we'll run into each other again on a case and it will be just like old times." Light placed a hand on L's arm. This is the only time he didn't want to completely choke the life out of him and watch him die in his arms, yet the feeling was still there. His last day. Light decided he could save his anger and hate for later, for his rise as God. L was going to die, today. He felt so fragile that Light almost didn't want to watch him break, but he knew L was the opposite of fragile.

"I hope we meet again Light. You're very interesting to talk to." This sounded genuine, Light noted. And it was. Light was the only one he could keep an intelligent conversation with, where both understood each other. He would miss that. But Light would miss it too.

"Same to you, Ryuuzaki. Sometimes I feel like you're the only one that understands me. And you probably are." Light meant this too. L was the only one on his level. The thought of his death was sounding less appealing by the second.

L turned to face Light and they held each other's eyes for longer than usual, yet neither looked away. Lights stomach began to stir. His eyes were almost too hard to look into. So strong you want to look away, but so dark you can only get pulled in further. The only place where Light was understood. A shame..he thought.

Light sat up and swept the hair that was covering L's eyes and let himself fall into them. This is his last day, after all. The last time he will get to experience their brilliance, their wonder. The last time he is understood.

L looked to his feet, emotions swirling in his eyes. L had a bad feeling about today. Something is just off. He allowed Light to sweep his hair from his face and pull a leaf that found it's way into his many dark layers.

Kira.. he thought. My biggest enemy and my closest friend. Today is the day we part.

"We should go back now." L lifted himself from his spot and stood, not bothering to wait for Light as he made his way to the exit off the roof.

"L wait!" Light rushed up to L and swung him around by his shoulders. He pulled him in for a hug and squeezed gently. L's arms awkwardly fell to his sides, before he picked them up and wrapped them around Light. Has he never had a hug before? Probably not. Wouldn't surprise Light.

This hug, in all honestly, meant almost nothing to Light. This is for his own satisfaction. He admits he'd miss L. The challenge. The cat and mouse game that was entertaining beyond compare. His eyes, his stare, his mind. He had nothing but malicious intentions in almost everything he did, but he allowed himself this once to be slightly genuine.

A friendly gesture to make their friendship seem stronger is all it is. Another lie. The key word here is almost, though.

He didn't have to hug L. He wanted to. This was his last day alive and this friendly gesture was more like a thank you for the good time. A good job, you tried your best. A goodbye, you were truly my only friend. In another world, we could have been real friends.

And when L hugged back he had the exact same intention. They were more alike than they realized.


	2. The Death Of Brilliance

"L!" Light shot out his arms to catch L as he collapsed onto the ground. L's body dragged Light to the floor with him, but Light's arms protected him from the brunt of the hard fall.

He was having a heart attack.

It was so surreal. Light's heartbeat was so loud he was sure the task force could hear it. All noise, everything around him was quiet. It felt as if L's heart was in his hand, he could feel every beat that pulsed through his body.

He did it. He finally did it. L was dying, here in his arms. His enemy was dying in his arms. His only obstacle. His only real challenge. He won. Yet the feeling wasn't as fulfilling as he had hoped. His stomach felt like a rollercoaster of feelings. Hate, joy, pity, satisfaction, pain.

Yet he won. He won't let this opportunity go to waste. Lights lips curled into a smile. He threw all his off putting feelings away and let his smile grow. He allowed his eyes to fill with hate.

L's eyes were as wide as they always were. He was clinging to life. So, Light smiled. Partly out of hate, and joy and all else. But mostly to let L know that he was right. This whole time he was right. Light was Kira. Light has killed him. He was right. That's what L had really wanted, right? To know he was never wrong, and he's never been wrong. The least Light could do for his only friend was show him he was right. Give him that last satisfaction.

Light noticed a water drop on L's face, it ran down his cheek and stained his shirt, yet it wasn't coming from L. It was coming from Light. He never let his smile fade but he realized he was crying. He hoped L didn't get the wrong idea. He was Kira, he wanted L to know this in his dying breath. He was kira and he felt nothing. He had to lie to himself for just this moment. He felt nothing.

L's eyes slowly close and all light, all brilliance, all genius and mysteriousness faded from them. Everything Light looked into them for, was gone in a flash. He has killed the greatest man possibly on earth.

He let the tears fall and run down his face when realized L was no longer there to witness them, his only time of weakness. He might as well put these tears to use and convince the whole team he meant them. It wouldn't require much acting, either, because he really did.


End file.
